Today is the first day of this blogging thing. Sounds a lot like flogging......but that is for the other computer. I have this tendency to edit what I type. Ill try not to do that here. Teachers used to tell us to free right and my mind would wander to other things so thats a skill I am looking to develop. So anyone out there reading this be forewarned.
I am really struggling with depression lately. I stay in bed when I don't have to work to avoid the seeming emptiness of my day. I feel like I lack direction. .....things to do. When prompted, I find there are a lot of things that I am interested in doing, but I get stuck between thinking and the execution of said "things". It is a struggle to get out of myself sometimes. I want everyone to see me being in a "happy" place. But really I just want to be left alone so that I won't have to make the effort. I am self conscious because people are gonna read this. I am not even sure this is the appropriate place to be putting all this. I just mulled for a few minutes about that feeling. It doesn't feel very good, but fuck it......Its my blog and I can blog what I want to. I am grateful that God has my back during these times. There are ways out and am praying about it daily. Now its time to take some action. This blog is one way. It seems to work for others, so I am taking their suggestion.
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2 comments:
Welcome to the wonderful world of blogging, Tom.
It's one of my obsessions, albeit a somewhat healthy one. I have been doing this daily since Dec '04 and have over 1500 blogposts. If there's anything I can do to help, just ask.
I can also let many others in the recovery community know that you're online. They will visit you and when possible, you should return the favor and leave them comments.
It does sound like flogging. But, it also sounds like clogging. Think of it as a dance. :)
Christopher of Austin
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